• Reason My Kid is Crying: I told him that, no, he cannot drive our neighbor’s car to school. For the 5th day in a row. He’s 3.

  • Let the sunshine in.

  • I’d be super terrible at any kind of law enforcement job. However, I’d be super good at being one of those officers who directs traffic while dancing at the same time.

  • It’s amazing how an internet search for hair color ideas rapidly devolves into me watching 20 minutes of DIY hair bleaching fails on YouTube. Spoiler alert: that shit will fall out.

  • Any guesses how much spit landed on my dad’s birthday cake after his four grandsons helped him blow out trick candles? Answers should be submitted in fluid ounces.

  • 1: Create Micro.blog 2: Forget you made said Micro.blog until reminded by your brother & sister-in-law at family Easter gathering 3: ???? 4: Profit!!!

  • What do you do when you’re on hold for an hour with pharmacies and doctor’s offices? Create a microblog, of course!

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